I came across an interesting post about exercise and self improvement by someone on an internet forum, who wrote:
I feel there is nothing wrong with my body, I am fit and healthy and I don’t feel the need to look like a chiseled greek god. Yet self improvement is always associated with looking like that. I am confused as I feel I am changing my identity by over exercising.
While the post was about exercise, it really got me thinking about what is meant by self-improvement and why the concept is so important to achieving success in life.
What immediately struck me about the statement is that the person was defining self improvement in terms of external motivation, which goes against the word “self”! Self improvement is about achieving our goals and dreams in life. Those goals and dreams give purpose and meaning to our lives. Because we are social creatures, it can be easy to let society or those around us to dictate those goals and our path. Eventually, however, the effort to live up to others’ expectations may cause negative stress, unhappiness and possibly depression.
What's Inside
Why living up to others expectations can be so negative
Our family and friends seem to have good intentions (sometimes!) when they criticize. The advice we are bombarded with daily through various media to get thin, get moving, get rich even, seems great. You may think some of what you hear is good (or you may not), but how do you decide which advice is best, what you will focus on, where your energy should go? Even if you agreed with every external message out there, why does trying to live up to it so often end in such failure?
Because real goal-setting starts with defining our own values. We each have to assess what is really important to us in life, and you may be surprised. We really all have different needs. When you get out a pen and paper and start jotting down to yourself what you would really do if you had a block of free time (with no pressure for your answer to make you ‘look good’ in the eyes of others), you might be surprised at your own answer. I was recently in a class recently on setting relaxation goals (yes, it is important to have goals for relaxing as well!) The instructor asked us all to prioritize our leisure activities and share them with the group.
Almost everyone had a different answer. For some, [sociallocker]leisure is about socializing, visiting family and friends. For others leisure is reading, or doing a creative activity alone. For others it is doing absolutely nothing and laying on the couch. And for others it might be taking a class to learn something new and so forth. All of our goals were fine. So many different approaches to leisure because each of our values is different. Moreoever, it felt good to recognize and connect with what was important to me and to distinghish between what I really like to do and what I do out of a sense of obligation.
Once you are in tune with your values and what is really important to you, your dreams and goals will naturally reveal themselves. That will give you both the initial spark and long-term motivation to make those positive changes (self improvement) you discover are necessary to achieve your goals.
Now, motivation is one thing, then you have to actually do goal-setting the right way, as a series of actionable chunks defined in short and immediate steps (e.g. from where you want to be in 6 months, to what small changes or steps you will tackle this week or tomorrow, when you will do them, and for how long.) It’s the specificity in our immediate and short term objectives that help us reach our long term goals.
But no effort for self improvement will work if it is not in line with our own values.
So, what things are most important to you in life? Why? If you need some help thinking about this, we have a handy step by step approach to personal transformation.
What do you think about the term self improvement?[/sociallocker]
Originally posted 2013-01-05 11:54:49.
Christianity.
to me it the contrary because you are taking care of yourself to be more fit and healthy its not like your changing your personality to fit in looks are looks and that’s all also in a way you are better yourself by making you more comfortable in your own skin good luck with that!!
Funny cause I always thought it was about being better on the INSIDE. Like better habits, and swearing less and generally being a better person.
thats the same as saying; by going to school you learn, which is improving your brain. You are also losing your identity. Don’t go to school.
self improvement has nothing to do with looking like a ‘greek god.’ Its just the final form of physical improvement.
IF YOU ARE HAPPY WITH WHAT YOU ARE THEN DONT CHANGE. EXERCISE YOUR BRAIN INSTEAD. YOU CAN NEVER LEARN ENOUGH STUFF.
I would say that you are changing your identity, physical and mentally. Physical for obvious reasons, and mental because maybe you feel better about yourself or more comfortable with others. I don’t think it’s a bad thing though. You go through changes everyday in your life, and none of them diminish your personality and uniqueness.
Always think of any aspect of self improvement as an act of becoming more you.
if u feel bad, leave it. but i dont think its a good idea cuz health is priority.
well, self improvement to you can be what makes you
feel good about yourself and if you
want to change it is your choice and if you don’t to change
then there is nothing from keeping you from it since it is
SELF improvement, so i think if you like the way you are
then why change?
To change one’s identity is to completely alter one’s being. What you look like on the outside does not define who you are as a person. Self improvment is when you better your being, you can’t improve what you have diminished. So over excersizing in one way can be self improving.
I don’t know if this will help you much, but self improvement is more about making yourself someone you wanna be mentally. Whether is quitting habits like chewing your fingernails or interrupting people, or doing something that makes you feel better about yourself; like volunteering at an animal shelter or getting a job for the sake of a challenge. Self improvement is making an identity, not diminishing it. And physically changing the way you look is just one way to improve yourself, but not the only way.
Self-improvement is when you make yourself better, personality-wise or physically. It’s what you choose to change for the better.
You don’t have to become buff to consider yourself “self-improved”. But if you do think that becoming more muscular would be good, then by all means, do it.
Self improvement is only SELF improvement when you are making an effort at positive changes in yourself because YOU want to! Only you can decide what is better for you and what goals you want to achieve as well as what you can do to reach your goals. Being fit and healthy can only be good enough if you believe that and feel satisfied with where you’re at. I think it can get a little overkill when people are exercising and lifting weights constantly in order to achieve a body image that society deems as desirable or perfect. If you exercise because you love it and would do it as much as you possibly could because it gives you pleasure, more power to you. But if you are struggling with the way you look and are doing anything in your power to look the way someone else believes is attractive, you need to seriously get your priorities straight about what is truly important to you and what you think humans are actually here for. I know I am not here to torture myself into being someone who is obsessed with how attractive everyone else thinks I am. I grew out of that after I had my first kid and saw the bigger picture about what real people, including myself, find attractive in others, and looks play such a minor role in what makes someone a truly beautiful person. Anyone who tells you otherwise is shallow and insecure about who they are and where they fit in especially when they are older then 21, trust me. If you really want to do some self improvement, try taking a break and not being so hard on yourself, I bet no one else is as critical about the way you look as you are…Good luck
I think self improvement is all about advancing your ability to become who you want to be. It’s about transformation from your dreams into the real person you envision yourself becoming.
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